The Wish List

One of my all-time favorite books was one I stumbled across, The Wish List by Barabara Ann Kipfer. It's a book of random things that get you thinking and dreaming of what you'd like to do in your lifetime. Some things are possible, others not - but either way, this was a book that excited me and got me thinking about the what if's and the could it be possibles.

So I've decided to take the ideas, wishes and dreams I've gotten from this book, and merged them with my own ideas, wishes and dreams and decided that I can't just think about them anymore. I want to take action - to take steps towards things I've longed to do.

Excerpts from my 2008 list
* Make sure I do something I enjoy at least once a week
* Build up my savings account
* Find a mentor/Be a mentor
* Excel at project management (since this was my new job, I thought it'd be a good goal to work towards!)
* Organize my pesonal papers
* Take a spiritual inventory of my life
* Participate in a paint gun "war"
* Photograph the harvest moon
* See the Olympic Torch being carried (Done! We saw the runners while vacationing in Oregon. It was so cool!)
* Buy a painting (or other art) from a starving artist
* Drink a bottle of wine that's as old as I am (on my birthday)
* Be suprised by my child
* Rappel down a mountain

My list goes on and I have a new list started for 2009. It's fun to dream and stretch my imagination. But what I really like to do is think about what my life is about, what I am doing with the time God has given me, and what kind of fingerprint I am leaving. What about you—Do you think about what you're doing with your life, with your time? Who or what are you impacting?

My heart and my mind continues to be challenged, and for that I am so thankful!

EJ's Steakhouse

Just tried EJ's Steakhouse, a relatively new place on McKellips & Recker roads. Heavenly!

Our menu tonight:
fresh warm bread
Heirloom Tomato & Red Onion Salad
Top Sirloin w/ Sauteed Wild Mushrooms and Onions
Chicken Milanese w/ Loaded Baked potato

Truly a spectacular meal. The service was outstanding. We walked in and immediately wondered if we were underdressed (is there really such a thing in Arizona??), but were assured we weren't. No reservations were needed tonight, but I can see how a Friday or Saturday night would warrant them. It's a smallish restaurant, with an incredible atmosphere of elegance.

On a scale of 1-5, I give this place five stars for the food quality, dining experience, and service. The prices are a little higher than I'm used to (dinner for two could easily run you $60), but thanks to a discount gift certificate from restaurant.com, our first $25 of the bill only cost us $4!

Another surgery...

I feel like I have lived at doctor's offices these past few weeks. We had to take J to see a foot doctor because on vacation we noticed his left foot was rolling to the outside. He had mentioned it hurt over the past several weeks, but nothing consistent and nothing that kept him from normal activity. We saw a great doctor, Jaime Coffey, who noted that Jacob has two different sized feet (like by 2 sizes!). That wasn't the problem - but intriguing. He has a high arch on his right foot and a super high arch on his left. Still not the problem. Dr. Coffey thought we needed to see some specialists the focus on a specific type of surgery that he thought Jacob might need (something to fix that arch on the left foot). So in to Dr. Cicchinelli we went. Then to the MRI to see what was going on. Back for the consult to see what the MRI showed. It showed that J has some tears on the ligaments in his left heel - that will need to be surgically repaired. Sigh...ok. Then came the rough news - after the surgery there's a cast for six weeks, then a boot for another couple of months, combined with intense physical therapy. We're looking at about a 3-4 month recovery process. That hit like a ton of bricks. Especially since J is in JROTC this year - and LOVES it. He came home today so excited because his armed/unarmed drill team got to practice with the rifles today. So the big question on our minds was: Will he still be able to participate in ROTC and the competitions? Can we delay the surgery or will that cause more damage? Thankfully, he can proceed with life as normal AND we can put the surgery off until the end of the school year. Thank you Lord. J was so relieved to hear that (and so was his mom!) We were assured that the injury wouldn't get any worse, but that his discomfort would remain and there was potential for some sprained ankles if he wasn't careful. Careful it is!

J was not too excited to hear about another surgery. The only surgery he remembers having is his 7-layer back fusion. A surgery that medically went fantastic (Dr. Greg White in Phoenix is incredible) - but the recovery process was long and hard. J also reacted to the anesthesia drugs that they kept him on after the surgery for recovery, and he remembers that well. Couple that with leaving a wonderful ICU staff after three days and being sent to general population overflow - eek. We couldn't wait to get out of that hospital. The ICU staff at PCH was fantastic; the nurses in overflow left a little something to be desired. Anyway - J was not jumping on the surgery bandwagon any too quick. At least now he has some time to digest and prepare.

We are off to the allergist today. J's allergies are so bad, so it's off to get tested and see what is affecting him the most and what can we do to help them. Massive nosebleeds sent him home from school on several occasions last year - so we're trying to avoid a repeat of that. Phew...one more visit (this will be my fifth doctor's office visit this week) and then it's time for a long weekend. Cannot wait!

Crazy myspace surveys

Apparently I've gotten sucked in to facebook world, because I haven't logged in to myspace in months! But I did tonight because I still have a couple friends that haven't crossed over yet *lol* and I wanted to see some upated pics!

There was a bulletin posted entitled "how much do you remember about 9th grade?" How much do I remember about 23 years ago? I actually suprised myself! But the best part was thinking about my best friends that year and all the crazy fun we had. Michelle, Pam, Nicole and I - the fab four. I actually thought of Michelle earlier today as The Romantics blared over the radio. Good times! What great friends we were-at least for a time. East Middle School in Plymouth, MI was the location of our havoc. As I sat getting flooded with memories, it made me sad to think that none of those friendships lasted longer. High school brought new friends, new drama, and then a move across the country for me.

I would love to meet up with the old crew: Michelle, Pam, Nicole, Rog, Garrett, Fidel, Jerry, Eddie, and Glen. What the heck are they all up to? Where have their lives taken them? Hmmmm...

Whew - one more milestone under our belt.

Well today was the big day. Jacob had his first solo drive as a licensed driver! August 8 was the final driving exam with IDS (excellent driving school and I highly recommend!) He passed with flying colors and of course was angsting to head to DMV and get his actual license. I was working the Leadership Summit at Central, which meant waiting - oh the horror *lol*

We made it through the weekend and Monday I escaped from work a little early, since it was the first day of school and THE big day. We headed to DMV and within about 25 minutes, Jacob was officially road legal. I was trying not to have a cow about his photo - not sure if he thought he was being funny or if the photographer just gave really bad direction, but his photo came out with him hunching forward and cross-eyed. Can we get a do-over please?!?! No time today - had to head out for a chiropractor appointment, then a scheduled photo shoot for friends.

Time to pick up the Bronco from the garage (aka Grandma's house where it was undergoing some last-minute, minor repairs). Finally - it was ready! My anxiety was high, yet I was so excited for this new phase (especially no more early morning taxi duty!). As we drove home, prayers for safe travels over the next several months and years were filling my mind. As I glanced to the west, there, was the most beautiful sunset I've seen in a really long time. Affirmation from above? I like to think so.

On to this new phase - changing roles (once again), new twists, turns and bumps - and lots of excitment, of course. What a journey it is and has been. Anticipating what is still yet to come...

Storms of life

Browsing through some pictures I found this photo I took while on vacation in Colorado in 2006. We were out exploring the city, when huge black clouds loomed overhead, appearing from out of nowhere. Memories of this storm flashed through my head and with it, parallels of the current storm I'm weathering.

Like storms in nature, personal storms can erupt from virtually out of nowhere. It can be clear and sunny one minute, and black and tumultuous the next. Sometimes storms build up, sometimes they just erupt. I keep telling myself that like storms in nature, personal storms also dissipate - either suddenly stopping as quickly as they started, or slowing to a drizzle and then fading from memory.

Storms can also bring about change. Rain can turn dry, parched land into a vibrant, colorful, and life-giving paradise. But storms can also uproot and destroy. They can change the landscape they touch, completely altering what used to be.

My current storm continues to rage. The darkness of this storm isn't allowing the light to break through. My gut, my core being, knows that the light will return, but like nature that's been ravaged by a hurricane, I'm just not sure what the landscape is going to look like when it's over.

So how do I endure such a hard time? Where do i find strength to continue on through the darkness? Where do I find my shelter from the raging winds? In only one place.


I've weathered many, many storms in my life - natural and personal. Some storms led to that clean, new feeling that can only come after a good rain and others led more to the shambles pictured above. But in both cases, Christ held me through them, picked me up when the torrents brought me down, and dried me off so I could continue on with this journey called life.

When weathering storms, I try to remember that even the disciples didn't handle all their storms without fear or failure (and helps me as I look back on my own drenched moments). And as i stop and evaluate, I look at the question posed by Christ...

One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, He fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.

"Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.

In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."

Where is my faith? When the storms of life crowd out my hope and my joy; when dreariness and fatigue burden my daily journey; when the storm seems like it will have no end, I stop and ask myself "Where is your faith?" And that inner peace emerges because I know He is in control and that this storm shall too pass.

When will the medical madness stop?

In the past two days we have visited five doctor's offices and one medical facility for x-rays. As I sat at the final appointment today, getting x-rays of my wrist to ensure my clutsiness didn't result in my first broken bone, I reflected on the last 17 years of battling medical professionals.

Where has the patient care gone? When did doctors stop caring about the medical problems being presented and care more about quotas put forth by the governing insurance company? When did the observations or parents become threats to a doctor's knowledge or education? Why are we all just numbers and statistics in an industry where the only person that profits is the suit sitting in a governing office somewhere?

Seventeen years ago I gave birth to a miracle. The only one I was blessed with and am overwhelmed with thanks for. The pregnancy was not easy - the birth even more difficult. Three days of inducing - only to find out he was actually four weeks early. A huge baby for 36 weeks, but early nonetheless, which brought it's own set of complications. The first year included several bouts of congestion, bronchitis and asthma. Moments when precious life-giving air ceased to flow through his lungs and the only indicator to us was his silence and little blue lips. Then there were chronic ear infections leading to hearing loss, which thankfully corrected itself over time. Developmental delays also plagued our little guy - speech due to the hearing loss, fine motor skills, gross motor skills - the list goes on and on. I was a young mom and looked to the doctors, the professionals for guidance and wisdom. But I was met with were god-complexes and know-it-alls. It took some time to learn that I was his voice and doctors didn't know everything (even though very few of them will ever admit this). I learned that the doctors I wanted were the ones who were willing to listen, wiling to admit their own limitations. But there were so few of them, and most of them we encountered too late.

There was love, joy, happiness, giggles, belly laughter, craziness, adventures and fun too. So many memories that have filled my life with immeasurable joy. I wouldn't trade any of it—I have the best kid in the world.

Seventeen years later, most of the medical madness is a blur. It's times like the last couple of weeks where we're visiting doctor after doctor that I get reminded of the path that has led us where we are today. The pain of some of the struggles and the battles long forgotten. A grateful peace settled in my heart some time ago, thankful to a God who intervened in my life through this amazing baby, toddler, child, kid, teen, and now young man. And a mind filled with awe on how God grows us—through gut-wrenching moments and giggles alike.