Rabbit Holes and Changing

Question: How does a girl who falls no, actually she jumps ... Eyes open, down a rabbit hole, plummeting into chaos come out the other end unchanged? The answer. She doesn't. See, I know, because that girl is me...

I was flipping through the television channels this morning and heard this opening line to a movie and instantly related it to the last 9 months of my life. Last November our team moved over and merged with another department. There were unknowns and pre-conceived notions, but a lot of excitement mixed in with it too. Roles were changed, positions moved, expectations high. My role doesn't even remotely resemble what I was doing 9 months ago - and I love it. I was dropped into a world that I knew nothing about. Concepts flew over my head, terms went in one ear and out the other - quite literally I jumped into a rabbit hole and plummeted into the world of "media and production".

I have been stretched, prodded, poked, and pushed - emerging with new knowledge and changed. I have been invested in, poured into, challenged, tested, supported and encouraged. I have added friends and family. I have emerged, full of new knowledge, full of new confidence and completely changed.

Our team is simply put... amazing. I look around at the people that God has placed on this team, at this time and I can't imagine working with a better group. The skill sets is varied and we have strengths balancing weaknesses. We work beautifully together and support each other through good days and bad. In a time where expectations are high, goals are lofty, and timelines are short - God is working. God is moving in this place and in this team - we just need to stay out of His way.

Staying out of His way has never been more clear to me than watching Him change me through my teammates. I have to be willing to hear His voice through their words - to hear His challenges through those around me - and to move myself out of the way and allow Him to finish His work in me.

Trial by Fire (or sweat)

Wacky Battles Slimed was in full swing of day number two tonight. I think it was the air of wackiness that got to Holden and me, because while sitting in pre-service prep, we decided to switch production roles. He was serving as Technical Director (TD), which runs the switch that puts elements out to the live service, and I was serving as the Computer Graphics (CG) person -which feeds the elements to the TD. The roles are very different and there's lots of little nuggets of information you absorb to run either one. Well we gave each other the crash course in about 30 minutes and proceeded to wipe our sweaty palms on one another "for luck" to kick off the service at 10 seconds out. What a riot.

Thankfully the VBS program is a lot slower running than a typical weekend service, so what better place to just dive in and learn! And thankfully I had a very patient Director (you're the best Papia!) who gave us an environment to learn in. There was lots more focused silence than normal (apparently me having to completely concentrate is a good thing for those that typically have to listen to me yap *lol*)

Once again I love this role - something new, different, and completely challenging thrown my way. Not sure I'm ready for a live weekend service - but hey... there's 3 more days of VBS left!

A quick catch-up

Not wanting to make the one-post wonder blogs (or the "where the heck did they go" blog forum), I decided I should get back to posting. It has been a crazy busy few months. Started a new role at work, which I absolutely love -but the learning curve was huge. I finally feel like my feet are beneath me again (even though there's still lots more to learn), and a routine is returning once again to my life... ok routine - never for me - but as close as I get.

Working with the media crew at a mega church is non-stop action. It's fun, challenging, ever-changing, full of lessons... the list goes on. I love change and mixing things up, so this change in role has been ideal for me. I've gotten great leadership and instruction on so many aspects of the media, marketing and production world. I feel incredibly blessed to work with such an amazing group of people. I might be a bit biased, but our team is definitely the best :) I love stepping back sometimes and watching how we all work together. There is definitely a sense of family, a huge sense of loyalty to one another and for covering one another's backs when the projects seem to grow and grow. But the best part is how much we laugh together. I think you have to in the environment we live/work in, day in and day out. There is a great deal going on - all the time. Without the laughter, it would sure be a challenge to stay energized. So it's a good thing we have an amazing crew that loves to hoot and howl.

So that's a bit of what's been going on. Also just got back from a 10-day stay in Michigan, which was wonderful. Saw tons of family, laughed, caught up and celebrated Gram's 90th birthday. It was a wonderful time. But I think I'm ready for a vacation that doesn't involve working, party prep or cloudy days. Hmmm.... hawaiian beaches seem to be calling my name!

K-1945 GPS system

The alarm blared at 3:30 a.m. this morning... should anyone really be up at this hour after not hitting the pillow until after 12?? I think not... but I am. Gotta pick up the boy and mom by 4:30 to catch a 6 am flight. 

This after a week of turmoil and uncertainty if I was even going to be allowed to fly (and avoid another hospital stint due to a recurring infection). Huge relief when dr called and said "I should be ok if I stay on the antibiotics." Good enough for me - off to Michigan I go...

3.5 hours later and we hit the ground, and headed for our car at Avis - who proceeded to try and upsell us on everything under the sun. A cute, white Pontiac G6 is ours for the next 10 days. Avis offered a GPS system, but after finding out adding a second driver would cost us $11 per day, we decided we knew our way around enough to make do. Mom assured me she knew the way... HA - insert the newest GPS system of K-1945. This would be my mom. Instead of a pleasant "Turn right in .5 miles", I got "slow... i think this might be the street - um... not sure... turn and let's see... nope - turn around." next street - same thing.. next-yep - another 180 headed our way. It was hilarious. 

Thankful for family time, laughter and vacations together. The rest of the fam shows up later this week for my gram's 90th birthday. Can't wait - it's been 15 years since I've seen most of them... Should be a riot!

God sightings

One of the things I really enjoy about our staff meetings is people sharing their God sightings - how God is working/moving/changing lives in our congregation. We had many shared this morning, but one was rolling around in my head to share and just didn't get a chance.

There is a young man who has been serving with our production team. An fantastic kid of 21 or so years old, we've had several conversations and he's just enjoyable to talk with. Last night on FB he messaged me and we ended up having a great conversation about prayer and when is a prayer selfish and when does God just desire for us to share our hearts, our wants, our hopes and our dreams. I miss conversations like that! I miss chatting with a non or young believer and being challenged to pull from my foundations, challenged to dig deep into my knowledge of the Word. I need to find more opportunities for that. Too often other things take priority...

Thankfully I do get to have some conversations on a regular basis. Times like these and each week with my group of jr. high girls. I leave wednesday nights feeling energized and invigorated - connected and challenged.

I love seeing God work through people. I love being challenged to growth by Him through others and I love how He communicates at times in some of the most unlikely ways!

not much to say

I haven't had much to write about lately - or rather, I just haven't felt like writing. It's been a tumultuous couple of months.

Last week was horrible. Central had to off about 15 people. It's hard in any environment when people are let go strictly because of finances, but in our work, this is family. It's brutal. My heart hurt for leadership that had to make the decisions. I watched it literally wreck the hearts of leaders on our team. It was an emotionally exhausting day... I know God has a plan and I've seen it working out time and time again in these families. Their faithfulness and obedience are incredible to watch and be a part of. But it's also frustrating to realize the lack of obedience of God's people is really where all this rests. Times are hard, but the bulk of our body is not living in poverty and the reality is if our entire congregation tithed at poverty level, our budget would go up.

As if that wasn't enough emotional factor in the week, my divorce was final on Thursday. Actually, we just had our hearing on Thursday and the docs will actually get signed by the judge today and mailed back to us. It was just bizarre; anti-climatic for sure. Go in - sign some papers - leave with "have a good day." 13 years of marrriage ended with "have a good day." Hmmmm....

New stage of life - here I come...

"What is your deepest fear?" Coach Carter

I love this quote from the movie, Coach Carter.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsiously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Sir I just wanna say thank you . . . You saved my life.
- said by Timo Cruz in Coach Carter